Learning to code is a mixed bag of emotions. Some days you feel like a total wizard, capable of anything even when you're solving the smallest of problems. Other days you feel inadequate. Not smart enough, not creative enough, not good enough.

So far I've been able to work through those not so good feelings. I've pushed them aside to focus on working hard and learning everything I can. All year I've been working up the skills and courage to apply for a really exciting apprenticeship program. I thought I was a great fit and it would be my big break into development. This week I found out I didn't get in.

Here's another not so good feeling. Rejection. I felt crushed and still kind of do. I was so sure this would work out. I needed it to work out. Part of me felt deflated and wanted to give up when I got that news. But another part of me, a bigger part of me, knows that it's just fuel for me to work harder and land the next opportunity I find. I will become a developer. I'm bound and determined to keep learning and keep building. I won't let rejection crush me and that's exactly how I'm going to make it into this field.